easyHotel… Or how not to spend the night in London…

Was up in London last week to launch Langeroo, a new educational product I’ve been working on over the last year.  We were promoting our work at the BETT 2011 event in Kensington.

Went up on the Tuesday to set up and was initially thinking I’d crash at a friend’s place, but driving through London during two rush hours didn’t appeal so decided on grabbing a hotel.

London hotel prices are hideous…  It was £130 for a Premiere Inn.  Arivind suggested looking at the easyHotel…  £40 for a night.  Bargain, right?  Yeah, thanks Arivind!  

It was easily the worst hotel I have ever stayed in.

It was a pod… Literally.  If I had a cat to swing, it would have died on the first cycle.  If I put my bag on the floor, I was all out of room.  The bed was so short that when I got into it and put my legs out, I inadvertently kicked the wall (the guy on the other side must have thought I was trying to communicate, because he knocked back).

The bathroom was about the size of an aeroplane toilet.  It was a wet room… The shower was above the sink, and if you sat on the toilet, your legs were tucked under the sink…  Basically, you could shit, shower and shave simultaneously.  Efficient, but probably not all that hygienic.

Plus, it was an extra £10 for a window…  Which I paid for, thinking I might like to open it.  The windows don’t open.  Which kind of makes them less a window, and more a sheet of glass.  I’ve no idea what the thinking was behind it. Either they were considering charging people in the apartments over the street to observe my pain, or maybe they were designed that way to stop me from chucking myself out onto the street below.  It was an extra £5 to watch television which didn’t work, despite the quality of the disposable remote control.  And forget a bar, the best they had was a vending machine in reception that was £1.50 for a bar of chocolate of unknown European origin.

Anyway, thankfully Arivind came and rescued me and we went out for a couple of drinks so I could pass out when I got back.

Oh, and did I mention the room was bright orange.

The moral of the story, I guess, is to not be such a cheapskate.  And avoid the easyHotel.  Unless you’re incredibly drunk… And colour-blind…